C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
