In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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