So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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