Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
