I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
