his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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