shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
