Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
