if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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