yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
