Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
