Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
