You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
