You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
