It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
