Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
