Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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