It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
