Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
