Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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