i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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