question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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