But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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