it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
