____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
