I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
