Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
