I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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