I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
