I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
