I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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