We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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