Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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