I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
