make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
