There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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