A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
