mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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