what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
