brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're so nebulous sometimes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
