Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
