It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
