yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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