Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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