We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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