Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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