I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
