Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
