is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
