Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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