my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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