just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I understand Curling. That high.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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